6 Steps to Diffusing Fear from Dreams

All too often we let the fears inside our heads get the best of us. Fear is healthy, but also a very common saboteur that can lead to envy, judgement, and worse, regret. I've been

thinking a lot about my dreams lately, and with every dream there is a dose of fear. It's funny how the bigger the dream the scarier it is, and the closer are to knowing what you really want, the farther it feels. Conquering the negative self-talk is an ongoing process, but here are some tangible exercises I do to remind myself on the regular to be scared and do it anyway.

1. List Dreams. Write down your top goals, it can be for career, love, or health or anything that you have been thinking about but haven’t taken action on. For example, for me a longtime goal was to start writing a blog to help others spark joy and foster more love in their lives.

2. Face Fear. Put together a list of everything that is scary about each dream. You know, those limiting beliefs and negative self-talk in your head that prohibits you from even dreaming about it. For example, what if I fail, what if I’m not good enough, what if I’m too old, or too inexperienced? My fears included fear of my blog sucking, fear of it not being meaningful enough, fear of a commitment to something I may not be able to keep up with, etc.

3. Calculate cost. Okay, now list out the emotional gain of going forward with your dream. What happens if you do start that business, or write that book, or run that marathon. Think about all those things you gain emotionally and jot them down. What is made possible if you pursue your dreams? What does it afford you? What would your future life feel like? Is it ambition, confidence, pride, joy, happiness, a healthy body, or love? Now imagine not having any of those things you wrote down, not just now but at all in the future – that is the cost – because you gave yourself permission to not pursue your dreams and you will likely do it again and again because you listened to that fear.

For me, the cost of me not creating my blog on a surface level may just mean I don’t create a blog or put my ideas out there in the world to help people. But, in fact it is actually a more than that – I realized the cost of not doing this blog actually meant that I’m giving in to my doubts about myself and that I’m not being brave. And, that I’m giving my-self permission from here on out to quit before I even start.

4. Measure gain. Now, go through that list of all the costs and see which ones if gained will propel you the most forward. Which ones will get you closer to your other dreams? Which one has a big enough cost that it would be preposterous NOT to do? The thing about fears is that you conquer one it gives you the courage to conquer others. Go back through your list of fears and identify one that is the easiest to conquer and set a plan to do it.

The courage it requires to pull off a blog is what I gain with every step I take and when I become successful, I will be able to look back and tell myself and my family that they can do anything they want too.

5. Take action. Take a sheet of paper and literally list out all the steps it takes to get there and if you don’t know think about all of the possibilities or avenues you can take to get there. Make the goals real by writing out tangible goals to know when it is complete. For example, find a training buddy in the next two weeks and complete 10 miles four times a week.

6. Be Accountable. Share your dream and fear with someone you trust. Have them hold you accountable and check back in with you on whether or not you got past your fear.

I shared my dream with my family and close friends. Funny thing, till this day every time I say it out loud my heart palpitates a little with fear of failure. Then I see those same well-wishers a few weeks later and they ask me how its going and it pushes me to keep at it, and I let out a gentle roar inside my brain.

Now, that you have these steps, think about it, what are your dreams? Lean into them and go make them a reality.

Love, Sahana